So I am not too sure what catalysed this thought, but as I sat in my French class this Monday morning I came to the realisation that I eat really quickly now! Well, not really quickly. No pie-eating, hot dog stuffing, inhaling of food style consumption. However, I keep up with everyone who I sit with at the table and no longer am stressing about eating too slowly or too quickly or savouring every bite. What I find even more bizarre is I didn’t even notice it happening. I guess that is one of the parts of recovery that takes place when you start living a full life with less time to channel into your ED. I now can eat all my meals with people and am not falling behind.
I remember how tricky I used to find eating a meal in time. I used to look at everyone’s plates, and measure pace. I would worry either they thought my pace was disordered or that I should take longer because that was the only meal I was having that day. As Kevin would say, I needed to make every bite count!
I won’t lie I’m pretty chuffed with myself. I did it, I can now eat a meal at a normal pace and not even think about it. That’s what is so surprising, it is not at the forefront of my consciousness anymore.
Now I just need to work on not letting Kevin have some say/influence on every food choice I make….BUT baby steps. I achieved a pretty big one and I did it in another country, away from home and at a new school. A positive post today and a positive affirmation: recovery is possible, it is just a multifaceted process, which takes a bit of time and a lot of hard work and effort!
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